by Vladimir Hernandez Gudiño

It is an honor to share my testimony of what Christ has done in my life. I thank God above all for giving me this opportunity, my church, my pastor Elias Montes, and the leaders who God used to guide me to where I am today. My prayer is that this testimony shines a light on the destructive reality of life without God—and the joy of being made new in Christ.

I was born in Matamoros, Tamaulipas, Mexico, in December of 2002. My mother faced many hardships: leaving home at thirteen, having my older siblings at the age of eighteen, and suffering the betrayal of their father. Later, she met my biological father, Vladimir, who made her life a living nightmare. He was a raging alcoholic with severe anger issues. He physically abused her, often getting arrested but was always released shortly after. Despite her attempts to leave, he always found her. 

When I was two years old, my mother planned to flee to the United States. My father found out and held a knife to her throat, threatening both our lives if she dared to leave. He destroyed all her identification, making it impossible for her to reapply for legal documents. Still,

 She chose to flee. She entered the U.S. undocumented in order to escape the abuse. After some time, she met her now-husband, my stepfather Ivan, who is the complete opposite of my biological father. 

We lived in a rough area of Houston, near Jensen Drive and Crosstimbers, in a tiny one-bedroom house. Life was difficult, but we were safe. When I was five, we moved to the countryside in Sealy, Texas. Though it was more peaceful, Sealy became the place where my inner battles began. At six years old, I was molested by a neighbor’s older son. I didn’t understand it then, but it left a scar on my heart. Around this time, my family was active in the Catholic Church. I completed baptism, confession, and communion, but I stopped before confirmation. I didn’t know why I was doing any of it. After the abuse, I felt abandoned by God. Why hadn’t He stepped in when I needed Him? 

The following year, two of my best friends, brothers Collin (14) and Blake (12), died in a tragic accident. I was devastated and furious. I blamed God for taking them away. My heart became bitter and cold. Throughout high school, I continued to identify as Catholic, but I had no relationship with God. I was confused, angry, and spiritually numb. The only times I went to church were during summers  to visit my cousin Isaac. I enjoyed spending time with the church youth group, but I wasn’t there for God—I was just there for fun. 

At fourteen, I began to drink. Due to her past trauma, my mother  was strongly against alcohol, but I rebelled. I was angry, argumentative, and was often compared to my father, which only made things worse. High school became a cycle of drinking, partying, and fornication. After graduating, it escalated. Weed turned into LSD, pills, and anything else I was offered. I moved out at eighteen, thinking I was chasing freedom, but I was running deeper into bondage. I struggled with my identity, even my sexuality, because of the abuse I endured. I was lost and hurting, trying to mask it all with substances and sin. 

“I didn’t find God — He was never hiding. I was.”

Eventually, my mental state declined. One night, after taking multiple substances, I collapsed and couldn’t move. I heard a ringing in my ears and a voice repeating, “Do you believe in God?” I saw my mother weeping over my grave, my friends mourning me. Then a bright light surrounded me. I didn’t know if I was alive or dead. I began dissociating, hearing voices at night. I was drowning in depression and pushing everyone away. 

To numb the voices, I kept abusing pills, until one day, I woke up on a bench and realized I could’ve died without knowing it. That moment convinced me my life had no value. I decided to end it all. I drove into the woods and wrote a goodbye letter, expressing my pain and regrets. The fear of whether God was real or not came over me, so I decided to pray. I told God I didn’t know if He existed, but I couldn’t go on. I asked Him for forgiveness because I wasn’t strong enough to live anymore. I felt an embrace. And then peace. I felt seen. I began sobbing. Was that God? Was it Jesus? Or another god? 

Desperate for answers, I reached out to some old Christian friends from Pasadena, who explained the Gospel and who Jesus truly is. I was still hesitant, so I asked God for a sign. Then one night I dreamt of the crucifixion. I saw Him beaten, mocked, and carrying the cross. I woke up crying. I prayed and fell back asleep and saw Him again, being lifted on the cross. I dropped to my knees in the dream and wept. Then I heard a voice saying, “You know that I won in the end.” That changed everything. I reached out to my cousin about going to church, and that

Sunday, my pastor preached: “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” That was confirmation. I surrendered to Jesus. I began attending church every Wednesday and Sunday, despite living over an hour away and having to work at 4 a.m. I didn’t care. Jesus died for me. He revealed my sin and began to heal my pain. He restored my heart and helped me love my family. I was so lost, but Jesus found me. I didn’t “find God,” He was never hiding; I was. I was baptized in the name of Jesus on January 8, 2023, at nineteen. Even though my family rejected my faith, His sacrifice kept me going. He showed me how broken we are without Him and how His mercy can rebuild what sin destroyed. 

Since then, God has used me to reach others. I now serve in our hospitality team, youth ministry, and recently inducted as a deacon. I have also begun to attend Bible College. However, no role compares to being called a Child of God and the transformation Jesus has done in my life. There are so many people hiding their pain. But thank God, we can be the light in their darkness. Let us boldly live for Him, because He died for us. May the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.

About the Author

Vladimir Hernandez Gudiño attends New Hope Church in Houston,Texas with Pastor Elias Montes. He is a local deacon and serves on the hospitality serve team at his church.